Thursday, July 11, 2013

Change

Years ago, I started Notes from the Cookie Jar because I wanted to see what blogging was and found myself hooked. The community, the creativity, all of it immediately drew me in. Before long I was teaching myself html and jumping in, feet first, to all things blogging had to offer.

It's been a crazy ride. If anyone told me that I'd have all the opportunities that have been offered me in the past 5 yrs would come along, I would've said they were crazy. Life has been amazing, but in the past year, things have changed.

Where I was when this blog started has changed. When I began blogging, I wanted to tell our story about Kevin and what it was like raising a child with dyspraxia. Partly because it was therapeutic for me to write about it, and also because I wanted people to know they weren't alone. I wanted to write about what it was like living in a small town on the west coast, just minutes from the ocean. I was writing to find myself after important relationships in my life seemed to just disintegrate.

Blogging gave me so much; a community, friends, self confidence. I have learned to do things that I never would've done otherwise. At one time I thought blogging could be a new career, but since then I've learned that leaving a job that provides a steady paycheck with benefits and a pension were not practical to give up. Writing can still be a passion but a hobby as well.

Then in the last few years life completely turned everything upside down, fell apart, and re-arranged itself.

I tried to come back here and write but somehow, nothing would come. I really had nothing to say. I didn't want this to become a 'my husband is sick and my best friend is dying' blog. I didn't want to be a train wreck on display as I struggled through the hardest few years of my life and had some moments so deep and dark I wondered if I needed to check into the psych ward at the local hospital. It felt fake to come here and chirp about how wonderful life was when it really wasn't.  I also found that my son, now almost 18 and who is practically a man, needs to tell his own stories. We don't live by the ocean anymore. I don't have to advocate for Kevin with his school. John is no longer sick. Anne is no longer here to have coffee with by the ocean or create beauty in her garden.

The life that I blogged about here for so long is gone. In some ways I feel like it died last August with Anne and when we moved 10 days later, because things have never been the same.

There's nowhere else to go from here. This chapter of my life is finished, and here I am; in a new town, with a life that is completely different stretched before me. The only constant in all of this is my love for the kitchen and helping to teach other people how to cook real, wholesome food. For months I have felt, deeply, that it's time to let go of what once was and turn the page to a whole new chapter.

So, this is goodbye from Notes From the Cookie Jar. Thank you so much for reading. I just don't think it's fair to give you only a half hearted attempt anymore, writing about things that are no longer here or relavant. I had said to friends that I was going to wait until December to make this decision but the truth is, I didn't think it was fair to wait. I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do.

Shutting down Notes doesn't mean I will quit blogging altogether; you are going to find me taking up the reins more over at Chasing Tomatoes. No longer just a recipe blog, it's going to be my space to talk all about our new life here in the Fraser Valley, with the focus on all the things I have grown so much to love. I want to explore the Fraser Valley and show you all the wonderful farms and things I find. I'll talk about things that have become my passions-school gardens, teaching kids how to cook, and more. You'll still find me over at Yummy Mummy Club and on Twitter. So this isn't really goodbye, just a bit of a change. I plan to spend my summer working on Chasing Tomatoes to make it the best it's ever been. It's time to focus on what I'm passionate about, instead of doing what feels too much like work and obligation.

Thank you so much for the comments and love and support. You have been amazing. I couldn't ask for better readers and friends.

Ready for the next step? I sure am.

Love Karen

xoxo

© 2011 Notes From the Cookie Jar, AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena