Sitting at my keyboard, trying to form a coherent sentence, I type a little and stop. Where is my muse? She's been on vacation. It's like trying to chase a wayward toddler in the toy section, as they giggle and run from you in wild abandon.
She's gone, and there I sit, poking away at keys and reading twitter, hoping that she'll magically appear and demand to be let loose.
Not a drop of inspiration, nor a glimmer of anything worth writing down at all. Usually writing is so effortless, like a stream of words that just trickle from me to the keyboard, but these days the stream is silent. It's been silent for awhile, as real life things have been blocking it up, like beavers building dams in my head. My head has instead been filled with worry and stress, to the point where even cooking, my other muse, has become a chore.
Dinner has been reduced to salad and peanut butter sandwiches on some nights, which is a very sad state of affairs. Where is my zest for cooking? My joy? Obviously ran off with my writing muse, just like the dish ran away with the spoon. Unable to summon them back, I've allowed self doubt to creep in, wondering why do I do this, this blog thing? I'm not like (insert super famous blogger here), and likely won't be there. Does anyone really care if I blog, anyway? Is this all just a colossal waste of time? Am I really good enough to belong here, in this space?
Heaving a sigh of resignation, I turn off the computer and stare out the window. Music from my ipod dances in my ears as my fingers find the charm hanging around my neck and absentmindedly touch the word printed on it.
Startled, I look at it closer. This piece from Blissdom Canada in October, a souvenir of sorts, winks at me like a talisman. I stare at the word as the music swells, running my fingers over it more slowly this time, remembering.
We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe,
It's written in the stars that shine above,
A world where you and I belong where faith and love will keep us strong,
Exactly who we are is just enough
This is my bliss. Even if some days, I have to fight for it.