Sunday, October 31, 2010

Adventures in BlissDom: The Journey

My adventure to BlissDom Canada began on Tuesday, once I wrapped things up at work, flew home, scarfed down some chili (thank-you Jamie, I had some of your awesome chili in my freezer. Saved my evening!) and Hubs drove me to the ferry.

The adventure, known as BlissDom, had begun.

Waiting for me in Horseshoe Bay was Alexis and the adorable Imp. Did I mention the Imp is the cutest little boy ever? Next to mine, of course. Those mooshable cheeks and big eyes would be enough to make the most un-kid friendly person a pile of goo and as I watched him pretend to make me blueberry pancakes, I wanted to tuck him in my suitcase and take him home.

Instead I settled for reading him a bed time story, snuggling up in a chair, his sweet freshly bathed little head reminding me of days gone by (oh, how I have missed doing that) and munching on some of Alexis's to die for home made bread, slathered with butter.

Don't worry-I'm going to hound Alexis to post the recipe because DUDE, I have to make some.

In the morning (or the middle of the night, as it actually felt) we made our way to the airport. I think Alexis saw my deer in the headlights look when she asked if I knew where to go. You see, I haven't flown in about 18 years and I was a teensy bit nervous.

Soon I found myself on the plane and suddenly, BlissDom Canada wasn't some abstract thing on my computer screen, it was REAL. It was happening. The flight itself wasn't that exciting-mostly reading, some little snacks and watching TV. Finally we began to descend and as I looked out over Lake Ontario, I began to panic. You see, I've spent a lot of my life not taking chances, being hesitant, because I think on some level I never believed I could do it. I always get just to the cusp of being successful, then I get scared and back down. I get swallowed in self doubt, I let people talk me out of what I really want, I back down far too easily. Suddenly, I wasn't sure that I could actually pull this off. Online life is easy. Carrying it over into offline with people I've never seen before is much, much harder. What if I sucked? What if I let them down? What if people met me, and hated me? What if they pretended to like me, and then talked about me behind my back? What if they thought I really didn't know what I was talking about? Would anyone hang out with me, or would I be left sitting alone? What if people were nasty?

BlissDom Canada. Hundreds of people I've never met in real life. Speaking on a panel. Meeting rock star bloggers who I have admired for years. Putting myself out there more than I've ever done in my entire life. Working with a fantastic sponsor. Taking a GIANT leap of faith. As I listened to "Waiting Outside the Lines" by Greyson Chance on Ellen , it was like it was written just for me right for that very moment.

As we descended, Lake Ontario stretched out before me, blue and sparkling, the city below rose up to meet me, and my heart swelled right along with the music.

No more fear.

It was finally time for ME to seize the day.

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