Monday, July 26, 2010

Food Revolution Road trip day 8: Don't Anger the Gods

My blog notes during the drive.

Driving: Rapid City, SD to Moab, UT

Weather: torrential rain outside of Denver, mixed cloudy/rain/sun the rest of the way, hot and sunny in Moab

Food Revolution Challenge:
I lie (sorta) for the Food Revolution, we endure a very long, very boring drive, and our favorite healthy restaurant in Moab is closed for renovations.

Up super early in the morning because we need to get on the road! There's a long drive ahead of us. First stop, and I see this sign. Aw gee, we'll miss it. What happens at a Redneck Rally? I'm not sure I want to know.

As we bump along, looking at beautiful rolling plains dotted with sunflowers and herds of cows the radio tells us that the forecast for the Black Hills is nothing but sun. Great! Right when we're leaving. It had rained and was cold the whole time we were there. We see the round bales of hay and think of giant Shredded Wheats.

Oh! And look at all those pronghorns! You could make a game out of counting them!

Jake snoozes. We enter Wyoming and continue to play count the proghorn. At the next rest stop, we're serenaded by an owl. I fumble with the iPod shuffle, realizing that I'm not as smart with technology as I'd like to think I am. How the hell do I find that Carrie Underwood CD?

Coal Train! We count three of 'em, actually. We wind through a town with a population of ONE. Then we count motorcycles, because Hubs is missing his baby back home. He dreams of riding the Black Hills on the bike, with me on the back. Jake doesn't know but we've been secretly planning an adults only getaway for next summer when I've turned 40 and he's turned 60. We'll do mid-life crisis-ing together.

Chugwater means lunch time. Yay! Sandwiches, granola bars, fruit, and ....oh the water is way in the back of the trunk. Crap.

As we near Cheyenne, the houses get bigger. Massive. Like, you could fit three of mine in one. We drool copiously. Suddenly a truck fires up the on ramp to the freeway, and the girl inside screams at us and flips us off out her window.

Oh, geez, we're sorry for not causing a major accident so you could cut in front of everyone. There was only traffic beside us, behind us, and in front of us. Perhaps you could learn to use a signal. Or DRIVE without your god-damned CELL PHONE attached to your head.

We pass an old billboard where someone has spray painted, "Obama Sux". Jake notes the mis-spelling and giggles.

As we get closer to Denver, Jake sees the Budweiser plant and asks hopefully if they do tours. We nix the idea immediately.

We navigate Denver and rain clouds loom. Jake snores from the back seat again, while thunder begins to roll and rain splatters the windshield. Denver always gives us a bit of a heart attack trying to navigate. We notice a sign that warns us not to pick up hitchhikers, because there is a corrections facility nearby. Duly noted.

Outside of Denver the skies open, and it POURS. There's traffic, trucks, a curvy mountain road, and torrential rain. I'm a bit freaked out. And..what do they MEAN the highway is closed up ahead. I have to pee!

Convince Hubs to stop in Georgetown so we can pee before we hit the piles of traffic that I'm anticipating will be caused by the closure signs keep blinking on about. I ask a guy at the visitor's center about an alternate route and he gives me directions, which I promptly forget. Try to convince Hubs to talk to the guy, but he refuses.

We drive down the road and promptly get stuck in a pile of traffic. I resist the urge to say "I told you so," for about 30 seconds, tops. Hubs and I grumble at each other. I'm thankful for the earlier pee stop.

20 minutes later, we begin rolling again. We pass through Vail, home of the rich ski bunnies and drool over the gazillion dollar houses. Until Jake suddenly has to pee. Hubs ignores him for awhile, but the pleas become more and more urgent. Finally we pull off and end up at...Walmart?

I get out with him (road trip rule-pee whenever you get the opportunity) and in the Walmart bathroom is a woman dressed in a business suit, washing dishes.

"You probably am wondering who the crazy lady doing dishes in the Walmart bathroom is," she hastily explains, (um no, but now that you mention it...) "I work at the bank and we have ONE plate and whoever uses it, washes it."

I look at her blankly, then re-assure her that no, I don't think she's crazy. I've been up since 5 am, driving for hours, forgotten which state I'm in, and she thinks I'm worried about her washing dishes? Not likely. I smile at her and wash my hands, while she calls a goodbye in my direction as I go out the door.

We drive. And drive some more. I unintentionally royally piss Hubs off and the car is silent all the way to Grand Junction. We read and sleep, just wanting to get to Moab, hot temperatures, and a soft bed. Finally we pull around the corner and red rock looms before us.

It's like coming home. We find the Hampton and I eagerly check in, realizing as I'm doing so that our room has no fridge. We can't do Food Revolution Road Trip with no fridge.


I love Hampton, but seriously, this is Moab. It is 104 outside and to charge people extra to have a fridge is, in my opinion, like charging for air conditioning. I want a fridge, but I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. Gotta be stealthy. Let's try polite, first.

Me:"So my room doesn't have a fridge, huh? I'd really like one. Is there any way we can change that?"

Desk Clerk: "Well we don't have any rooms available with fridges, but we do rent them for $15 a night if you'd like to have one. Or you can keep items in our fridge if you really need to."

Hmm. I might need to do that. But I really want our own fridge, and to stay as long as we are I could BUY a fridge with the money it will take to rent one. So maybe I'll play the diabetes card. I know he's type 2 and not type 1 but they won't know. Don't want to, but I think I just might...

"Well my husband is diabetic and so we really need to have something where we can have access to a fridge, you know? Every other hotel we've stayed at in Moab has had a fridge and..."

"Tell you what. I'll find you one, and I'll get it to you. No charge."

SCORE! Have I said I love Hampton? Great service. LOVE Hampton. We happily unpack and grin to each other that we have made it to our favorite part of our vacation. Moab, the land of lizards, red rock, melting temperature, and 4x4ing. Adventure awaits!

Of course, the road trip Gods are angered at my embellishment and the next day all our food is frozen solid.


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