My writing mojo up and left the last few weeks, mostly fueled by sleepless nights, long angry conversations, and a general malaise that settled over the house just before Christmas caused by un-blogable drama. It hung around, danced on the edges and threatened to disturb our holiday, but being the troopers we are we plowed through.
Then it so kindly re-surfaced and, barely into 2010, we spent a few hours in a meeting at the police station. Because I just love to start my new year that way, you know?
It was about as much fun as being tortured with hot pointy objects while listening to The Chipmunks sing "12 Days of Christmas" and being force fed fruitcake. Or maybe a root canal. I'll let you decide. Personally, I think fruitcake is up there with soy milk as being one of the most vile things on the planet that should never enter my kitchen but then again, I would actually run screaming in terror from the dentist.
That day, if you were on Twitter in the afternoon, you may have been a part of the group who collectively talked me down from the ledges as I clutched a latte in Starbucks and forced myself to breathe, lest I throw up instead. Oh that would've been pretty, huh? Right in the middle of Starbucks?
By the way Starbucks, your Wi-fi sucks. It was on, off, sorta there, kicked me off, taunted me, and don't you understand how a woman in crisis needs her Wi-fi so the Twitter world can hear her screams of frustration? What's with that?
Stress and I? We're so not friends. We're not even remotely polite to each other and PMS, you are just SO NOT HELPING. So just shut up.
I breathed. I tweeted. I didn't throw up. Well. Maybe not THERE, anyway.
Before I get a pile of curious e-mail, let me say that everyone (and everything) is fine, and nobody is going to jail. Our case was actually, in fact, more like curiosity getting the cat into a shitload of trouble but on a positive note, Bill Gates can call me any time because I'm SURE I have a future employee in the works here.
My biggest lesson out of all of this? No matter how great a teenager your kid is, they are still a teenager and they will AMAZE you with their poor decisions. (Hello, reasoning part of Jake's brain? Please develop faster. Like, yesterday would be good) Adults will actually amaze you even more, except for the fact that they have no excuse at all. (Hello? Anyone home?)
This kid is going to be the death of me yet.