Monday, October 26, 2009

Nestle, You RUINED Smarties

Few candies evoke childhood memories for me like Smarties. When I was little, I'd dump out a box and immediately begin separating them by color:

Yellow
Orange
Green
Blue (not a traditional color but I grew to love it)
Purple
Pink
and of course RED! Because you have to eat them LAST!

(Edited to add: For you American readers, Smarties in Canada are candy coated chocolates similar to plain M&Ms. The candies that are called Smarties in the USA are called Rockets here in Canada.)

Today I opened a box of Smarties to make Halloween cookie pops to feature here on Notes From the Cookie Jar. I dumped them into the bowl and...what?!?!

What the hell is with these technicolor candies? They look like Skittles!

These weren't Smarties. They were impostors. Gone was the green and blue, and why was the normally pastel purple and pink now so bright they blended with the red? And why are the brown ones black? They looked like cheap, bulk bin wanna-be Smarties. Surely there must be a mistake, so I ate one.

The verdict?

I almost spit it out.

Nestle, I'm trying to be fair here, but the new Smarties are just absolutely gross. Maybe you thought you were giving people what they wanted by introducing "No artificial coloring" Smarties, but come on-we're talking CANDY here. Candy! It's not supposed to be healthy.

The irony is that by making a product without artificial coloring, the end product is something that has a gross, artificial, chemically after taste to it. Especially the most iconic color of all..RED!

Your site says that they taste the same, in fact...better!

I strongly disagree. The non-artificial color stuff tastes AWFUL.

I HATE THEM.

YES. HATE. THEM.

Did you hear me? Should I say it again? Or how even plain M&Ms, which I've never really liked, taste BETTER?

For years, I used to say how Smarties were SO much better than M&Ms, and pitied my American friends for having to go without. I used Smarties to decorate cupcakes, in cookies, trail mix, as snacks, in ice cream, on brownies, and to eat just because. Once my screen name was even Red_Smartie. I was going to feature them here in the Cookie Jar and rave about how wonderful they are because Smarties were one of THE favorite candies in our house.

Now? Now I'm just disappointed and sad. Sad because you took a perfectly good product beloved by MILLIONS of Canadians, and you ruined it.

RUINED IT.

The true test came when my 13 year old wandered into the kitchen, saw the Smarties sitting on the counter, and reached to sneak a few.

"What the HELL is wrong with these Smarties?" he sputtered, making a face. "They taste NASTY!" He pushed the bowl back on the counter and refused to touch them. There they sat, for two whole days, and not one person in the house would eat them.

I ended up throwing them away.

If you only knew how much this house adores chocolate, and especially Smarties, you'd realize just how BAD they must be for us to throw them away. Normally they would not have lasted longer then 5 minutes. Did you know that we have bought a box of Nestle favorites every single year for Halloween almost as long as Jake has been alive? Or that we'd give away all the Aero and Coffee Crisp bars to trick or treaters, specifically so we could eat the leftover Smarties?

Today, as I stood in the candy aisle and contemplated my choices for candy to give for Halloween, I did something I have never done before.

I bought Cadbury treats instead.

You RUINED them, Nestle.

© 2011 Notes From the Cookie Jar, AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena