Hotel clerk: "No but we do have Walker Drug, and City Market. They should carry whatever it is you need."
Guest gasps, and steps back as if she has just been told she must survive in the wilds eating lizards and sleeping on slickrock.
Guest: "But...but...." (tone is panic, near tantrum state) "I thought Wal-Mart was EVERYWHERE!"
Walking on a boardwalk outside of Wall Drug in hordes of people, we hear the guttural wail of a teenager in front of us as he holds his cell phone to the sky in protest.
"What the HELL kinda town is THIS? There's no cell phone signal!"
Guest approaches front desk of hotel. The clerk is deep in conversation on the phone.
Guest: "There's a fire in my room."
Clerk completely ignores guest. In fact, continues talking on the phone and doesn't even acknowledge the guest is standing there.
Guest: "HEY! Excuse me, there is a FIRE IN MY ROOM."
Clerk continues to ignore guest, who leaves but returns a few minutes later to report that they managed to extinguish the fire.
Clerk: "What? FIRE?"
Guest: "I TOLD YOU there was a FIRE in my ROOM."
Clerk: "Oh I didn't hear you. I was on the phone."