Monday, April 13, 2009

Shoppers are Cows

photo by Foxypar4

Grocery shopping with Jake has always been an adventure. When he wasn't trying to find his daddy, he'd be charming the cashiers out of any candy they had available, or sliding right into complete sensory overload. It's always been a challenge to get him through a store.

Now that he's older, the job is a lot easier. He just asks me deep questions in the middle of the produce section about Jesus vs the Easter bunny. Either that or begs me to buy genuine vanilla beans, or some other expensive gourmet delight.

The other day as we wandered through the store, we were becoming a bit frustrated. Shoppers were meeting up with friends and family in the middle of the aisles, and then standing there, in the middle of the aisle, talking. Everywhere we went, there were groups of people standing around blocking aisles and in front of produce, like they were holding meetings in the middle of the grocery store.

"Um, excuse me."

No response. They either ignored me completely, or stood and looked at me blankly.

"Excuse me?" A little louder. Maybe they were distracted. No response.

"EXCUSE me!"

Finally they'd part, allowing me a tiny space to squeeze through, which would close up the second I passed.

"Shoppers like that are cows," Jake declared.

"What?"

"Cows. You know, they stand there with a blank look on their face, blocking the road, and when you honk at them they don't move right away. You have to practically run over them but then they finally move over, eventually. Cows."

We rounded the corner and suddenly there was another group of shoppers discussing their family news right in middle of the aisle. Again I waited, saying 'excuse me' about six times, politely smiling but starting get irritated, and slowly working my way by.

Suddenly I could hear Jake's voice. Softly at first, but when I turned he grinned at me and made a face, like he was chewing his cud.

"MooooooOOOOOOOO...."

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