"Who is in that picture?" He points to the bio. pic at Recipes From the Cookie Jar; of me, at 4-ish, baking with my Easy Bake oven.
"Oh, that's me."
He gasps in horror. "YOU? But it's in black and white! It's so OLD! You are so....OLD!"
I turn and look him in the eye, without smiling.
"Um..." he stammers, realizing his faux pas, "I mean, I mean...oh heck," his voice turns into a desperate squeak as he backs up. "Please don't hurt me."
"Hon, you know I think we need to discuss Jake's bedtime. He's going into grade nine. Don't you think 9 pm is just a little, um, early?"
Jake's face lights up. YES! Mom is advocating that I have a later bedtime! Cool! All my friends think I'm so weird to go to bed so early!
Hubs doesn't answer, so I continue.
"Well when we had foster kids, we never made a kid in grade nine go to bed that early. EVER."
Hubs, without looking at me, waves his hand dismissively.
"Fine. He can go to bed at 10."
Jake silently punches the air in celebration and grins at me, triumphant. There's silence as we continue to watch TV, until 15 minutes later when Hubs suddenly looks at Jake and says,
"Ok. Turn off that laptop and go to bed."
Jake doesn't move. He just grins back at Hubs.
"HEY! I said go to bed! So go! If you aren't going to go when I tell you, you'll lose that laptop and.."
Jake continues to grin and listen to Hubs tirade about not listening or doing what he's told, and how school is starting soon and he needs to get back into the routine. He waits until Hubs is finished and then calmly points at the clock.
"You just said I didn't have to go to bed until 10, Dad."
Hubs looks a bit confused. Did he really?
"It's only NINE o'clock."
Dr Dermatologist: "So, does Jake have any relatives with asthma, eczema, or allergies?"
Me: "Okay...well I had eczema as a kid, I'm allergic to pollen. Hubs has asthma, allergies, eczema as a kid, still gets a real itchy scalp if he's not careful. Half sister has asthma, allergies, not sure about the eczema. I think Grandma has psoriasis....."
Dr. Dermatologist begins to giggle and shakes her head at Jake.
"You poor kid. As far as genetics go, you're pretty much screwed."
Jake has a friend over and they are sitting at the table, enjoying a rootbeer.
Jake: "So ya my Mom is pretty much evil-she has put me on this 1 hour timed limit for computer the whole summer. I'm dying, really."
Duncan: "Welcome to MY WORLD."
Me: "So Duncan, you have a time limit too? How long?"
Duncan: "1/2 hour."
Me to Jake: "So you really can't use the excuse 'my friends get longer', because in reality YOU have more time. Maybe I should reduce it......"
Me: "But you said I was evil. Obviously I'm generous. THAT would be EVIL. I'll remember that."