Sunday, January 18, 2009

Home Sick: With a Teenager

It's not often that I've had a sick day at home with Jake, but this week I had two. Maybe he really was sick, or maybe he just saw that I was completely out of it and took advantage, but either way we were both at home. If anyone thinks that a sick day home with a teenager is boring, just check this out:

7:00 am-wake up. Head feels stuffed with cotton and oooooh, don't turn to quickly or I run into the wall. Ouch! Nurse a coffee and try to feel human.

7:15 am-attempt to wake up Jake by throwing pillows at him. He clings to his bed and moans like he's dying, to later rise and then act like he's dying.

8:00 am-phone the school to say that neither of us are coming. Decide to blog/read e-mail for awhile.

8:30-Jake runs in to inform me that parsley and nutmeg have hallucinogenic properties. Make a note to watch the herb garden.

9:00-hear the garbage truck. Remember it's a garbage day and haul the garbage to the curb in my pjs just in time.

9:30-2nd cup of coffee. Jake joins me again and launches into an explanation of his stage 2 rocket-thingy that he's planning to invent and sell for lots of money. Nod blankly because I don't understand a THING he's talking about. Note that he needs a haircut.

10:00-think about making chicken soup. Decide that it's too much work to get up, much less chop veggies. Wish that Hub's cooking ability included more then just making coffee.

10:30 am- Jake follows me around kitchen while I unload the dishwasher and begins talking about cola flavored pop. Apparently colas made with actual kola nuts are supposed to be really good for people who have asthma. He uses this scientific "fact" to convince me that he should be allowed to drink Coke because it may them be therapeutic.

Laugh at him because, you know, the last time I let him have Coke he was so hyper I wanted to lock him in the trunk couldn't stand it.

11:00 am- lay down for a nap. Am very grateful Jake is blogging/twittering/leaving me alone.

11:05- telemarketer calls-ignore
11:06- telemarketer calls-curse in general direction of phone
11:07- telemarketer calls-roll over and turn ringer off . Answer Jake's question, "Who is THAT?" for the third time.

11:15- Finally sleep for hours. A HUGE plus of having older kids because they actually LET you nap so that they can search for go cart materials on EBay.

4:00 pm- decide to make the chicken soup after all. It's really, really yummy. Jake refuses to have any. Tell him to make his own dinner.

5:00 pm- Hubs comes home and keeps me at arms length because he doesn't want to get sick. Won't touch soup, either and makes a sandwich.

7:00 pm- play game of "keep away" with the remote. Hubs falls asleep, Jake steals remote, we change the channel, Hubs wakes up 5 minutes later and demands remote back. Seriously, were you really watching Martha Stewart? I don't think so.

7:30 pm- Jake tries to tell me he knows all about formula writing for grade 9 chemistry. I tell him "No, you don't." He insists he does. Play game of "what's the criss cross rule, what do you do when an element has more then on ion charge, and what's a polyatomic ion"

Jake concedes but wants me to teach him. Brain is far too fuzzy-will have to wait.

8:00 pm- listen to Hubs snoring on the couch while watching House.

8:15 pm- Hubs wakes up during commercial and insists he's seen this episode before. He's right, it's a re-run. Lie and tell him it's a new one-he'll just doze off again, anyway.

9:00 pm- Head. Is. Exploding. Eyeballs feel like they are going to pop out and roll around on the carpet. Pop some pain killers and head back to bed where I can dream of sunny tropical beaches.

9:30 pm- hear Jake explaining to Hubs that nutmeg and parsley have hallucinogenic properties and that he should be allowed to drink Coke. *sigh*

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