Tuesday, August 12, 2008

From Boring to the ER in 60 Seconds

So, you know, it's been an interesting day.

First it started off slow and sort of boring. Jake's friends are on holidays and it was one of those "I don't know what I want to do and nothing is appealing so I'm really bored." days. You know how kids get with those. Nothing you suggest is any good, so I just let him be bored. I was a little bored too, if you must know.

So anyway I left him to his own devices and tried to fix up the issues here with images, etc and got really annoyed with it because certain things just wouldn't work anymore. I think that's what happens when you have a lot of customizations-suddenly my Twitter looked like it was screaming, things were out of alignment, and it was just...weird.

Hey many thanks to Skylarkd over at Life as I Know It, who so graciously found the fix for my problem and then e-mailed it to me! Yay! May the Chocolate Gods smile warmly on you. (lol) Seriously, your kindness really made my day...just keep reading!

So I spent a few hours throwing things at working on the computer, and then gave up and took a break. We had dinner, just finished up some ice cream for dessert and were settling in for the evening-getting all ready to watch Micheal Phelps grab more gold medals, and the USA women's gymnastic team have it out with China. Really, it was looking like a promising evening.

Until Jake decided to bleed all over my kitchen, that is.

Apparently it was somewhat of a science experiment gone wrong-he had a rubber stopper in one hand and a glass pipette in the other. For some reason, he was trying to get the glass pipette into the hole in the rubber stopper. The pipette broke as he was pushing on it, and the jagged part punctured his other hand. Deeply.

As in, "Oh my God Mom I'm BLEEDING EVERYWHERE MAKE IT STOP!"

So the evening turned into something more like this:

-run for towel to clamp over injury. Note that it's bleeding through first towel and grab next one that is handy.

-usher screaming Jake into car, throw shoes in after him, peel out of driveway to ER

-try to calm Jake while I'm driving.
"Come on, breathe. In your nose, out your mouth, holy mother of God Jake, when this is over I'll take you to Starbucks and buy you anything you want just don't freak out while I'm driving it's sooooo not going to help."

-The ER? It's surprisingly empty of staff. Open the door and say, "Um, I have a bleeding kid here. Help?" Man ahead of us takes one look at blood covered Jake and steps aside, insisting that we go first. (bless him)

-try to give nurse information as Jake begins to sob loudly. "It HURTS!!!"

-get Jake on a gurney and try to keep him from completely losing it as nurse/doctor poke and prod at the injury

-notice in horror that the tea towel really looks kinda nasty under the glaring hospital light. EW. Find a garbage can to throw it in.

-sit down because oh good lord, I'm so going to either puke or pass out, and that would be so not good.

-joke with Jake that...the hand? He looks like Jesus now. Just need to do it to the other. He is clearly not impressed.

-people next to us giggle and exclaim, "It's a miracle! We've seen Jesus!"

-Jake gets some freezing, during which he screams so much they can hear him in Africa and the nurse comes running.

-stops mid-scream to chirp loudly, "Wow, that's cold!" (Umm...ya. It is called freezing?)

-Stitches. Only two, but Jake refuses to look even though the doc keeps telling him how cool it is. "I was traumatized once and I really don't want to."

-Notes that his favorite shirt and pants have blood spatters. And geez Mom, I can't even feel my fingers! How cool is that?! Find out that Jake was lucky-while the injury was deep, he didn't hit any major structures or have any glass in it, and it should heal nicely.

-with the hand bandaged up and Jake calm, we're ready to go home. Doctor's orders: rent a bunch of movies, park it on the couch and elevate the hand for the next 24 hours.

-we need to come back in 1 week to get the stitches out. Jake says to the doc, "Hey, could I take them out myself?" Gah!

-stop for a cold drink because after all that I really, really needed one.

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