We know we're in the USA when the restaurant portions are enough to feed a family of 5 for a single meal. One evening Hubs was sleeping and Jake and I went to Applebees for dinner. I had already tried to have something light that afternoon for lunch-soup and salad is light, right? Not so when they bring you a gigantic bowl of soup, a good sized salad, and this massive basket of chips. It was EMBARRASSING, there was so much food. On top of that, it was bottomless! I felt guilty and overwhelmed wasting it all, but I was certainly not going to eat it. So for dinner we chose something much smaller, and then wanted to bring Hubs something back for when he woke up.
Scattered Mom: "We need to bring Dad back a sandwich. What do you think? BLT?"
Jake: "Ya, but it can't have cheese, chipolte mayo, and be a triple decker like the one on the menu. Dad won't eat that. "
Scattered Mom (to waiter): "We'll have a regular BLT. Single layer. No cheese. Regular Mayo."
Waiter is completely confused, as if I've just ordered a box of Tim Bits or something.
Waiter: "Huh? We can't change the price, and we could make it into two sandwiches...."
Scattered Mom: " No, just a regular BLT. You know-two pieces of bread with tomato, lettuce, and bacon? That's it."
Waiter: " But...but..are you SURE?"
Jake: "Yes. Dad won't eat that much. We'll have to throw it out then."
Waiter leaves, shaking his head in wonder at the bizarreness of our request. I can see it now in the kitchen.
"What do you MEAN a PLAIN BLT?!?"
Jake watches him go: "They really didn't get that, did they?"
Scattered Mom: "I don't think so. I was going to ask for no fries, but I think the waiter's head just may have exploded."