Sunday, June 08, 2008

Spin Doctor

photo by Pvera
So the other day, I was standing there in the kitchen waiting for my toast to pop from the toaster, when suddenly the world began to spin. Really fast-like too, sorta like when you're a kid and on one of those merry go round things and feel like you're going to toss your cookies any second. I remember when I was seven-ish and my Mom took me on an amusement park ride that spun like that. I screamed at the top of my lungs the entire way because I so thought I was going to die right then and there.

Then suddenly the world was very bright and distorted, sorta someone just turned on a zillion light bulbs because, geez, I couldn't even keep my eyes open. It hurt! Or maybe it was more like if I had taken some drugs or something because everything was all swirly.... (um...no...the pot was tossed-really!)

Only I've never done drugs, so it was a bit freaky.

I ignored the whooshing sounds in my ears and made my way to the living room, laying down on the couch (before I fell over) and waited for it to stop. Only it was still very strange, because when I closed my eyes all I could see was a bright green eye staring menacingly back at me. Slowly, in about five minutes, it all faded and I went back to making toast.

Was I terrified? Not really. It's happened before. In fact, that was short but intense, and sometimes I've had that sort of thing last for a full hour or I pass out completely cold. For years I've explained it to doctors, convinced that maybe I had some weird brain thing going on. Nobody ever figured it out.

So, still feeling like aliens had invaded my body very weird, I went to work where people took one look at me and told me to go home. Or see a doctor, already. I mean really, when you are that spaced out you are no help anyway so just get a doctor to look at you because maybe you just had a seizure. So my appointment went like this:

Me telling doctor what happened, and feeling sort of embarrassed about the big green eye thing, and like, you know, maybe I'm just crazy? It's not like I haven't told docs about this before...only this really is the first time it's been only hours after it's actually happened.

"Okay, I'm going to do some sobriety tests on you." (which I passed)
"Are you seeing double?"
"Uh....I don't think so....." (in my stupor I couldn't even tell. Some help I was)

"You know, I think you have migraines."

"Migraines? Isn't that the whole oh my God my head hurts so much it's going to fall off thing? I have no pain. None. I just feel...um...stoned. Not that I've ever been stoned, but you know what I mean."

"There's something called silent migraines where you don't get the headache."

"Oh. So that's what it is." Nothing dramatic or weird, just finding out that the sudden "attacks" of fainting and weird symptoms were just the aura stage of a migraine, and the stupor afterwards is totally normal. They don't happen often...in fact, only once every few years or so, mostly if I'm really stressed or have low blood sugar.

Sometimes when something seems really freaky and dramatic, the outcome really isn't that big of a deal after all.

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