Monday, November 05, 2007

In Which You Find my Computer Thrown From a 20 Story Building

Computers are like kids. When they are good, they are SO GOOD. You want to sing their praises. You marvel and the amazing things they do, you brag about how fast they are or how pretty they look and spend money buying the coolest little toys for them. After all, they are your baby, right?

Until they are bad. They refuse to do what you are asking, and no amount of bribing or pleading will convince them. The stubbornly give you some silly excuse like "fatal error" (aka "but I can't do that, please don't make me!"-think nails-on-chalkboard-whiny-voice). Then you just want to throw them out the window. Okay, maybe not so much with the kids.

Technology is a wonderful thing. It allows Jake, despite being dyspraxic, to get his school work done in a much user friendly way. He currently dictates into a digital voice recorder, which is then hooked up to a computer running Dragon Naturally Speaking, and they "chat". Dragon converts the wav file into text, which Jake prints out and hands in. It's amazing!

Unless I have to install it, that is. Then it becomes head banging, hair pulling, throwing things annoying.

Hubs and I first committed a mistake that we, being seasoned computer users, never should have. It was much like new parents inviting 45 children over for their kid's 2nd birthday party and having him skip his nap. HA!

We bought $225 software without checking system requirements.

I didn't know that our computer, whom we love so dearly, in people years, and just as slow. It's like a computer with an able-walker.

"Your camera has more memory, Mom. That is just SAD." Oops. We are going to have to trade in the old girl soon, from the sounds of it.

$200 later (hear that Visa being swiped?) and the somewhat younger laptop is getting a memory upgrade. Technology bill to date: $425.

We have now spent 2 days trying to get the digital voice recorder and Dragon Naturally Speaking to talk to each other. It is somewhat like trying to negotiate a peace conference, because neither side is listening. What I didn't realize until today though is that Hubs doesn't have the recorder hooked up to the laptop (you know, the newer computer with MORE memory, the NEW Dragon program that) but the old one with the old version of Dragon instead. I asked him why, because to me this just doesn't make sense.

"It says you can do it in the instructions with Dragon 7. "


"I want to find out."

"But...WHY Why waste the time? We just spent $400 getting Dragon 9, and more memory....just hook it up on the laptop!" This baffles me. It's beyond comprehension.

He has spent hours cursing at the screen, yelling for help now and then, telling me that he doesn't get why it's not working. My response?

"Just install it on the LAPTOP for God's sake!"

"NO! I want to figure it out! It says in the instructions..." blah blah blah (by then my head is imploding)

Umm...ya. Okay. It's like some strange form of self torture.

Men are weird.

Now he's standing over me as I type saying, "Are you finished?"

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