Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The Hermit and the Cleaning Lady

Awhile ago I finally convinced Jake to emerge from the hermitness that is his room and to venture out into the world of friends and socializing for an entire afternoon.

I had the house to myself. Me. Alone. It was bliss. I could have vacuumed naked, eaten the chocolate in the cupboard, or stood on my head for 1/2 hour. Just because I could. What did I do instead?

I cleaned. I know, I know, I should hang my head in shame at missing such a golden opportunity for self indulgence. Cleaning? What was I thinking?

Here's my now-not-so-secret list of things-I-hate-to-do

1. Taxes
2. Camping
3. Going to the dentist
4. Cleaning
5. Cleaning the car

The only reason that there are even a #1-3 on the list is that I'd rather be cleaning then doing them. Fortunately the top three are pretty avoidable, but cleaning? Not so much. Unless I want my house to look like something from "How Clean Is Your House," which is a show that grosses me out so badly that I literally begin cleaning something right after watching it.

But really, I think this is a bit why I would go insane as a stay at home Mom for any real length of time. Now before I have all you lovely stay at home mommies sending me hate mail, read on because I admire all of you SO darn much. You see I clean something, and secretly I want it to stay that way longer then 0.5 seconds. If it doesn't, I feel like I have to clean it again and literally can't relax until it's done. And of course with kids around, nothing ever stays even remotely clean. EVER. It's just karma that as soon as I wash the kitchen floor Jake spills an entire mug of lemonade all over it, then in an attempt to clean it up smears the sticky stuff all over the wall, cupboards, and table. So in reality, I'd spend most of my time a) cleaning b) avoiding cleaning or c) thinking about the cleaning I have to do. It's a quirk, or flaw or whatever of mine and I have to work extra hard to just overlook messes that spring up here and there. Otherwise I'd just be in corner holding the vacuum and twitching uncontrollably. You see, I must leave the house so that I can get away from the cleaning.

Yes, I'm weird that way.

So because I'm crazy and a little obsessive to boot, not to mention that I hate coming home from a holiday to a dirty house, I cleaned everything. The kitchen floor was scrubbed, the blinds washed, the carpets vacuumed, and even the laundry room was hosed down sparkling.

Now if it can just stay that way for a bit, we're all set.

Oh. Right. Jake is having a friend over today.

Maybe not.

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