Sunday, July 08, 2007

The Care and Feeding of Hamsters

1. Supervise disorganized 11 year olds while they clean the cage, otherwise they will leave a trail of destruction behind them.

2. The main goal in life of a Hamster is to escape. Supervise at all times, or it will leap from small climbing toys in a single bound, paws outstretched, hoping to grasp the side of the box. Taking pictures is futile.

3. Appease the small creature by offering bedding, such as toilet paper, which it will shove in it's cheek pouches until it looks like it has grown a large tumour.

4. Much like children, the Hamster will be annoyed at you for cleaning it's room. Nevermind the poop, which it eats anyway, but you have thrown out precious stashes of food and dismantled it's bed.

You will be clucked at in protest. The bars will be chewed on. You can attempt to explain your actions, like Jake is here.

Like many kids, Zinger is not impressed in the slightest and completely ignores him.

5. However Hamsters, much like children, are easily distratcted and can be bribed with a treat.

"Okay lady, I'll pose for this picture but you'd better give me that piece of apricot."

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