Friday, April 20, 2007

Gimpy and the Hot Monkey Sex

Things have been quiet here in the Jar, as you have been able to tell.

No, a UFO didn't suddenly appear over my driveway as I was taking out the garbage and abduct me so they could find out how I perfected my cookie recipe.

I didn't die of lack of chocolate (thanks to Liesel)...

....and, I'm not on vacation.

I'm gimped. Seriously, completely, GIMPED (as the kids I work with say)

Mostly because the other night I was dreaming I was having hot monkey sex with Johnny Depp, turned over and sighed in my sleep, and then stretched. As I stretched, like a cat that has been sleeping in the sun all afternoon, something in my neck went...


Which then immediately woke me up screaming so loud that my son heard me in the next room.

Of course, the ensuing consequences has been extreme pain for the last week that has resulted in it being not too pleasant to type, sit, stand, sleep, or pretty much do anything that requires breathing. Drugs, give me drugs! Alas, they're not working either.

The moral of the story?

I need to dream about something far less....FUN.

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