"I got food poisoning from a hot dog and I also had cheezies and cream soda so when I puked it was really gross, and...." Meanwhile I'm almost screaming, "STOP! They don't want to hear that!"
When he was five months old he perfected the art of flirting. By two he knew every employee on a first name basis in our local grocery store. Last year I was told that he was the "neighborhood kid" because everyone knows him and loves him dearly. This, my friends, comes in handy when you have fundraising to do.
Can you say, "Show me the money!!??" Profitting off my kid? Hell no. But getting rid of a large box of fundraising chocolate so we don't have to spend the weekend slogging through the pouring rain? Hell yes!
Every retired person in our neighborhood happily snapped up boxes of chocolates when they saw my child. They even chatted with him and donated extra money. I didn't do anything but stand and smile while he would smile and chat with his customers. That big box full of chocolate that needed to be sold? Gone. In less then an hour, all within a block of our house. Okay, it helped that there is a construction site up the road a bit and we happen to know the guys running the project. One look at that box and it's contents, and Poof! Six boxes gone in about 10 seconds.
"Do you have any more?" They asked through mouthfuls of chocolate covered almonds, hovering expectantly around Kevin like bees to honey, the sweet scent of milk chocolate filling the air.
"No, but we'll send the other kids up here."
As we wandered home, Kevin produced a single box of chocolates from his jacket. Somehow he had managed to hide a box from the hoards of hungry constructions workers and he tore into it expectantly.
"Do you have any idea what it's been like to sit next to a pile of these things and have to smell chocolate for three days straight?" He savored the candy in his mouth. "It was torture. You know Mom, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Nope. Not bad at all. You just need to know how to charm the crowds.