Today I looked out the window and decided that it was a perfect day for Kevin to take me on the bike ride he keeps talking about. He was in a mountain biking club back in June, and discovered a new trail he's been dying to show me. Since it was coolish and cloudy, it seemed like a good idea.
"Be gentle with your old Mom" I begged him. He's young and spry. I may still be considered young, but the last time I was on a bicycle left me barely able to move for about two weeks. Let's face it, I'm sorely out of shape.
I followed him on a dirt path past bugs, blackberry bushes, and overgrown weeds. It was fun! As we bounced along the trail, occasionally splashing through muddy puddles and bumping over roots and rocks, I smiled to myself. Fortunately the trail was mostly flat. We found the park he had been talking about and easily navigated the trails. The next step was to come out at the golf course and catch another trail home. Kevin confidently took me down the dirt road that was for golf carts, and then suddenly stopped short.
"I'm lost. I don't know where it is. Let's keep going." I followed him all the way around the stupid golf course.
By this time, I am tired. Really tired. My legs feel like jello. I follow him a ways until it's very clear that he has no idea where we connect back to the trail to take us home. Finally, my Mom-ishness takes over.
"That's IT. We are asking for directions." Despite Kevin's protests and pleas, I find the pro shop at the golf course and we ask some sweaty, pudgey man where the trail to get back to our road is. He thinks he's being funny when he with holds the information and instead tries to sell us a $5 map that doesn't even have the trail on it. My eyes narrow and I think he saw that I wasn't amused. I'm hot. I'm tired, sweaty, and thirsty, and damn it, if he is going to dangle some stupid map in front of me I'm going to slap him upside the head. First he gives me directions to go back the way we came, and then a nice young kid says, "Oh, that trail is at the 11th hole". We had gone right past it. Apparently when Kevin came, the leader had gotten lost as well and took them around the golf course. No wonder he couldn't remember.
Back down the hill, I find the trail home. Then I turned to Kevin and said, "Okay, let's get something straight with you right now. I know you're a guy, but when you are lost, ask for directions. You will save yourself and your future wife a lot of trouble."
We got home alright, and the bike ride ended up being 2 1/2 hours and over 5 km long.
I hope that I can move tomorrow. I took some ibuprophen just in case.